Shirley Gnome Merchandise!
(now herpes-free)

CDS - Scroll down all 4 albums to Add to Cart!
Taking It Up The Notch - CD
This is Shirley's very first record deal release, thanks to Canada's largest indie music label 604 Records. It went to #1 on the iTunes comedy charts in Canada, and it is surely Shirley's most professional and slick album to date. She's branched out into soft rock, pop, and folk on this album - and there's new content too (killing dogs, killing ex-boyfriends, people dying etc.) There's a lyric booklet and bonus photos inside, along with arguably the best artwork of a naked chick on a unicorn since that weird van that was always parked down your street in 1982. 

Listen on Spotify. For Apple Music/Google Play, CLICK HERE

The Lady of the Night - CD
This CD captures two years of songwriting, just Gnome and guitar, live in front of an intimate audience in a run down hipster venue in Vancouver. It reflects her first two years as a person who actually succeeded in making dirty country music into a job. Things get dark and sad and confusing, but mostly just stupid and gross and hilarious. Comes with a lyrics booklet so you can sing along.

C*untry Music - CD
Shirley's sophomoric CD, C*untry Music, was described by the Georgia Straight as "fucking hilarious." With a compliment of professional musicians playing actual instruments, the album legitimately sounds like real music. Full studio production lends legitimacy to gloriously frank tales of anal virginity, botched threesomes, and monogamous compromises. Recorded at Harbourside Studios in North Vancouver.

Ho Down - CD
This 8 track (not an actual 8track, it just has 8 songs) CD is Shirley's debut album. Jug band fused with naughty lyricism makes for a sweet and delightful romp through the titillating and embarrassing life of a smutty young lady. Featuring guitar, ukelele, washboard, spoons, bass, and kazoo, it's rather silly and too much fun.

List the album(s) you want:

If you want more than 4 CDS, please email me and we'll sort that out for ya!

Fuck Towel/Cumrag/Spankerchief/Jizz Mop
(you can use it for other things too, but, whatever)
Here is my highly bangable friend showing us the towel. Hey ladies, he's sangle!

Fuck towel fuck towel

Include Note For Recepient

Mini Pink Cowboy Hat (or cowgirl, cowperson, cowqueer/cowquestioning, cowfluid (milk?), trans/ciscowgendered)

Here is my highly bangable friend looking unattractive, making us all feel more human.

Hat hat
And here is April O'Peel's cat wearing the hat, for sizing.

Cat In The Hat

Include Note For Recipient

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